Making Time for Writing During Uncertainty

Cieneguilla, Lima, Peru

It has been over a month since I launched this website. Yet, my "Portfolio" tab is still completely empty. If you clicked on it, you would just encounter a blank page. No, it's not a broken link. I just haven't put anything in there yet. I genuinely thought I would have something in there by now. But I don't. And I often beat myself up over it. Sometimes, I catch myself wondering if anyone has noticed. Then I spiral into painful thoughts, like if it's even worth the time and money that goes into maintaining this website. But of course it is. This website is my very own creative outlet, and I have full control over everything that gets published. Those are wonderful things. However, tension remains. The job market is notoriously difficult, and many of us are struggling to find suitable work. For me, it's about striking a balance between financial stability and the pursuit of meaningful work. I now find myself pursuing my dreams while simultaneously toiling away on my laptop. This is a position that I am very grateful to be in, but it comes with its characteristics.

I've been really busy lately. Thankfully, I am getting writing gigs and some SME work. So I am able to stay afloat, and also enjoy fun experiences. This year is especially exciting for me. I have an AC/DC concert in Charlotte, NC, in July, and a Judas Priest concert in London, England, in September. Both are dreams come true for me. My biggest dream of all, that is, to be a published author, is well underway, I would say. Except I find myself spending more time daydreaming about my book than I actually do working on my manuscript. I want to write every single day, but I just can't. After a long day of work, I am physically exhausted and mentally fatigued. And almost every day is "a long day of work." I like to think that one of these days, I will have plenty of time to work on the manuscript. But I almost never do. I've found that the antidote is usually to just make time for it, even if that means less sleep and more caffeine. It's not the ideal set-up, but it works.

So, if I'm working on jobs for pay, and working on my manuscript for the possibility of future pay, when do I have time to invest in myself? You could say the book is an investment in myself, but I'm not writing it for money. I'm writing it because I believe the world will be a better place with my book in it. And making the world a better place through writing is my overarching goal, or perhaps even my life's purpose. I'm not totally sure about that part yet. All I know is that I have to keep going. I must keep writing, whether it's an article for a client or my own blog posts. I believe I get better at it every day. That may be something that employers and hiring managers can't see from my resume alone, so that's why I am also independently building my own brand - Carla Sanchez, Writer.

True freedom and independence are some things that I crave. Now, I've had my share of "business ideas" that ended up flopping. But I've never had an idea like this before. It requires a lot of risk and trust. Trust in my abilities and trust in the process. I'm very lucky that my family has been a source of emotional support throughout my life, and I want to make them proud. I've been a writer my entire life, and was a lawyer for some time, but now writing is my lifeline. This is what I do well and what I am most passionate about. And I see writing as the mechanism with which I will achieve success. To me, real success is true freedom and independence. And I will be successful.

Maybe I will add something to my portfolio soon, but don't count on it. Pretty much everything I write for business is confidential and/or property of the respective client. I will make time for a decent portfolio, eventually. But I am in no rush. I actually have to get back to work now, because there is no shortcut to where I'm going.